saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
wow bdsm is so cute
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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