Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
