He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
