What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
