Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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