What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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