I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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