like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
