addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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