everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
