i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
