He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
