Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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