My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize