I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize