PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
