People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
