uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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