Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
