the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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