well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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