She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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