he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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