I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
