His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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