Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
