you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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