um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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