I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
