Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
