Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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