I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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