Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
