Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
