It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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