just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
