piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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