Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he was CRYING into my vagina
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
