Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize