She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
