Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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