4 words: hood of his car
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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