Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
