your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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