i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
