Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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