STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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