You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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