sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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