now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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