If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Did you just see the Batmobile???
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
