Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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