hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
do nipples grow back?
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