I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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