I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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