its not stalking. its research.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
They are going to name an STD after you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
