she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
