So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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