So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
