don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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