Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
