He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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